A Fairly Good Use of Denial

IMG_2723Tomorrow I get on a plane to shoot my second short film in NYC.  I love directing my own writing.  It feels wonderful to be able to put together a team and create a vision that feels authentic after many years of serving other people’s vision.  I feel joy when I make these stories, and have many stored up from years of jotting down notes and ideas about things that matter to me.  I don’t think of myself as a “female filmmaker” I’m just a creative artist, making work.  Painting, writing, making music, directing… it’s all the same at a certain level.

This is not to say that I don’t realize how much the world of film can be a “man’s world” or a “boy’s club,” I simply choose to ignore it.  Perhaps it’s all my years of being an actress, but I think I have quite possibly have heard and chose to ignore some pretty heinous comments: from burps as useless as “Nice ass” to lovely sentences like “Keep your bimbo emails to yourself.”  That and much much worse.  Smart ass comments about my being a woman are something I loathe, frankly.

But I don’t want to think about it.  I don’t want to contemplate the possibility that I am being constantly judged differently because of my sex.  As Kimberly Pierce mentions in this article in the NY Times, it is just the same as telling a black person they weren’t invited to a party because it was an all white event.  Call it racism or sexism, it’s all a form of bullying, really.  Bullying based on fear and ignorance.  Not only that, but thinking about such meanness in the world can actually stop a person from creating great work, work that deserves to be out there.

If I spend a lot of time thinking about the daunting power of “the boy’s club’s” or believe that I will never be anything more than second fiddle to a man, then that’s what I will be.  And I refuse to live that way.  I am a person.  I like to work.  I have ideas.  I am of worth.  Furthermore, I refuse to believe that a man can’t write a woman’s story, or that a woman can’t write a man’s story.  I choose to believe that deep down, under the skin and beyond the genitalia, that we are far more similar than we are different.

It may be a fact that it’s tougher out there for women, but it’s a fact I’d like to live in denial of, thank you very much.  And denial has been working for me, so far.

I make my little stories for the people who “get” them.  Who realize that I am not talking to their bodies, I am talking to their hearts.  I make them so we don’t have to think about why we are so awful to one another, but so we can keep remembering our shared humanity.



5 thoughts on “A Fairly Good Use of Denial

  1. Right on, Cady! You shouldn’t have to worry about those who are still living with their heads stuck in the past.

    Good luck with your new film, I know it will be great since Flip Fantasia was awesome.

    Love, Franny xo

  2. I wish you good luck in directing your new short film Cady. I hope it’s even bigger and better then your first. You are special and very talented. That’s why I love you and your abilities. I love your smile every morning I look at the signed autograph you sent to me. It’s on the top shelf of my computer stand. Please keep smiling and I wish I knew when the next episodes of All My Children will start online. With love, your fan and friend always, Carle Wells

  3. Boys Club?Prospect Park could takes some tips from you.Thought your quality and clearness was better then the soaps they are doing.Not putting them down but Your short film was better quality even with their budget.Was so surprised when I seen how no shakey cameras,clear picture.Pat yourself on the back girl…

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