Director, Producer, Artist

How to Survive the Holi-daze

Posted on: December 5, 2013

Happy Holidays!Yep, it’s the most wonderful time of the year again… almost as fun as paying your taxes.  Wait, you LIKE Christmas?  Well heck, maybe there is something to this!  Maybe there are ways to not only get through this time of year, but to actually enjoy it!

Here are ten fun things to do that might actually lift those creepy crawly sneeky-deeky holi-daze blues.

1. Make a list of all the things YOU have done RIGHT this month. Even things like “I didn’t bitch out that lady in Trader Joe’s even though she cut me off with her cart” or “I didn’t fart in church” are things to give yourself a little pat on the back for doing.  We don’t give ourselves enough credit for all the effort we put into life!

2. Make a list of all the things your parents did RIGHT.  This might be a short list for some of you but there’s got to be ONE thing they did that was nice!  “She didn’t hit me” counts.  So does “I never saw my father naked.”  If it’s a long list, well then lucky you and what are you yammering about?  Go hug those crazy people and count your blessings!

3. Put up some Christmas lights, even if you aren’t Christian.  There is just something so magical about those little white lights… you can even keep them up all year!  They just say “Dream, Hope, Don’t kill anybody today… ”

4. Listen to “The Charlie Brown Christmas Album.”  Yep, it’s the best Christmas album ever, and will bring back at least one happy moment of your childhood when your parents left you alone in front of the TV.

5. Get this years Jackie Lawson Advent Calendar.  It’s only four bucks for a whole month of daily joys.  Again, you don’t have to be Christian to enjoy this calendar, you just have to allow yourself a little bit of childlike wonder.  Yesterday I made five virtual snowflakes and put together an internet puzzle with dogs pulling a sled on it and felt pretty darn accomplished.

6. Do something for somebody else, even if you don’t know them or like them.  Open the door for someone who never opens the door for you.  Let the jerk with the shopping cart go ahead of you in line.  Smile at strangers.  Don’t share the ugly gossip about a mutual friend.  In 2014 you can return to being as rude as you want, but if you want to feel better until December 31st, restrain the beast.

Noodle and Nutjob

7. Let your freak flag fly.  There is no better time of the year to wear stuffed reindeer antlers, or to put them on your dog.  Paint your toes with Christmas trees or Hanukkah candles, cover yourself with body glitter, put clips made of mistletoe in your hair… whatever secret little mad nuttiness you’ve been dying to do but didn’t want to look like a freak by doing.  If anyone makes fun of you, tell them to not be a grinch!  It’s Christmas!  The best excuse to be a freak second to Mardi Gras!

8. Indulge in holiday fare.  Yes, you CAN buy those holiday Pringles, Candy Cane Peppermint Oreos, or an Egg Nog Starbucks Latte.  YES… YOU CAN… Why?  Because it’s Christmas!  Just try not to eat the whole bag or can … you’ll vomit.  Really, you will.

9. Make something special for co-workers!  Nothing says “Hey, I actually like you sometimes but especially when I’m drunk” like bringing a hot thermos full of Swedish Glogg to share with the gang at the office. I assure you, you will be decking those halls with someone you couldn’t previously stand in about 30 minutes.

10. Be your own Santa Claus.  If no one else is going to stuff your stocking, well as you probably learned in college, you are just going to have to stuff it yourself.  Why not try one of these fabulous personal pleasure packages?  Being naughty has never felt so nice.

Tingle for Kringle

Happy Holidays!



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