Tag Archives: inspiration

The Pain of Creating

From the desk of Cady McClainI’m going to be honest with you. Creating is not easy.

Making anything, even a quiche for goodness sakes, take effort, thought, concentration and caring.

Making a film? Fogettaboutit.


Since I’ve started on this journey I’ve had a handful of breakdown/breakthroughs. I’ve cried wondering why some men in show business can be so thoughtlessly dominating. I’ve cried wondering why some women can be so competitive and cruel. I’ve cried from feeling a lack of support. I’ve cried wondering why I chose such a difficult subject.

I’ve cried the hardest realizing how so much of all of this is really about my mother.

Mom… Truly, the most powerful influence in my life was that nutty, brilliant, madwoman. She who often gave up on herself, but who (despite her harsh words sometimes) never gave up on me.

Her pain at feeling like there wasn’t a place for her voice in the world sunk deep down into my bones. Her fear at putting her work out there echoed into my heart. Her loneliness, her anger at men, her wounds… they have been my encyclopedia of womanhood.

The other day I turned to Jon and said, “My mom at my age was massively overweight, fighting cancer, a heavy drinker, and unemployed. She had all but given up on herself in every way. I could hardly blame her.  Life had ostensibly beat the crap out of her from an early age. So when I live a life completely differently, without any other woman who I am holding onto for guidance or support, I am not only breaking the mold of what I was taught being an adult woman is, but I am forming an entirely new one completely on my own. And that, sometimes, is very scary.”

However, for me, there is no option but forward. Because one day not so long ago, I realized I can only go in one of two directions: toward drinking, overeating, giving up on my art and myself and getting sick; or toward health, spirituality, and continuously risking to make the art that calls to me. That’s it. One way or the other. Because it’s the way my DNA is coded, the way the story came down to me.

I can choose: one way or the other.

Sometimes I feel guilty for being a survivor, for not following her path of suffering. Who am I to succeed, to thrive, to be well?

I am my mother’s daughter. And I must believe that despite her pain and loneliness, she would not want for me what she endured.

I am my mother’s daughter. And I must believe that despite her pain and loneliness, she would not want for me what she endured.

So, I hang onto the motto: NEVER GIVE UP. Because by not quitting, by staying on the path, by gluing myself to the task at hand, I know I am evolving myself into what my soul wants me to be. I am the EVOLUTION of my mom, and all the women in my family before her on both sides. I know she, and every one of those women, would want me to be more than a survivor.

They would want me to shine like an exploding sun.

And I, in turn, want that for every one of you. Because we are all capable of great things, and of lifting up this beautiful, troubled world up, together.

We CAN ALL be heroes… one day at a time….



Talkin’ About a Revolution

No one is more surprised than me at the incredible response my comments on PP garnered. 99.9% of them positive. I think I touched a nerve. A nerve that goes deep into what we are experiencing together culturally. The average person feels as if they are losing out to those with more power, and that there is little they can do to regain control of their own lives. It’s a serious issue.

It is certainly a troubling time we live in. How to make the exploding internet profitable is of serious concern, as is the blatant union busting and the high rate of unemployment, spurred on by many corporations need to show more and more profitability during a time of rampant wall street fraud. The average citizen is getting screwed, and we can no longer bury our heads in the sand and shop our way out of our fear and confusion of what the future might bring. What to do, what to do…

There are a few suggestions I can make, but I think what really has to happen is for the average person to make ethics and morality a requirement when it comes to big business. By ethics and morality, I mean honest, transparent business practices and fair treatment towards their workers. Those who state that “it’s a dog eat dog world” have a right to their opinion, but guess what? I don’t want to work for them or buy their products. And that’s what I am suggesting. If you don’t like what a company stands for, refuse to participate in their greed. Don’t give them your money or time. It really is as simple as that. Demand fairness and quality and when you work, and be fair to others and give your absolute best. Sounds simple, no? Perhaps it’s not, but this is where our American innovation and willingness to work hard comes in handy. We need to start and/or support new companies that stand for not just “better business” but “moral, ethical business.” I think there are a lot of really smart people out there who are already thinking this way. I want to encourage them and shout, “GO GO GO!!” If other corporations want to change their ways, I want to forgive them and say, “GREAT! Thanks for remembering what it means to be a human being!” I know there are good business people are out there who want to do the right thing, I just know it, they just might need a little PUSH in the right direction. Supporting the ethical business with your hard earned dollar is a great way to do that. Money talks, BS walks. Let’s make GOODNESS a POPULAR TREND that STICKS.

I also want to suggest that we stay hopeful. Things can turn around. Optimism is as contagious as pessimism, although it sometimes is a harder choice. I want to suggest that we try to believe in the good in others as much as we can clearly see the bad. I don’t suffer fools gladly, but I also don’t abuse others out of my own hurt. I like straight talk, with a dose of love and caring that never forgets how tough life can be. If you think I am just some spoiled soap actress… ha, ha, ha! That cracks me up. Think again. I’ve had it pretty damn tough myself and worked my butt off. And yet I rise… I rise… and I want to help others rise, too. That is a quality I have that I am the most proud of- this willingness to look hard at my own pain and grow softly through it. I believe it is an American quality, inherent in our very birth as a nation. We took a hard look at our circumstances and didn’t like what we saw, so we did something about it. And we learned, and grew, and changed, and continue to do so.

America is an incredible country. We are capable of amazing acts of courage, kindness and innovation. Times are indeed changing, but if we dig deep we will find many good things in our everyday lives to give us hope, even if we may have less than we used to. If we give the best of ourselves, and demand that others do the same, we can and will reinvent our American identity all over again. An identity that we can be proud of. I think that is what we need most in this time- to look to the incredible heroism of the everyday man and woman, to witness and celebrate the simple goodness that can be found in the lives of so many of our friends and neighbors, and remember that it is part and parcel of what it means to live in America. It’s why so many people all over the world still dream of coming here- opportunity, education, freedom and acceptance for all. We are a nation of individuals, and proud of it.

We are not our greed. I refuse to allow that quality to be the prevailing characteristic of this country. We are better than that.

We are our ability to forgive, to be generous, to innovate, to expand and grow and accept those who are different from ourselves. We are NOT our greed. We are our smart, tough, kind… goodness.

Let’s support that quality in every way we can. That’s a revolution I can get behind.



What “inspires” you?  What does it mean to BE “inspired”?  As an actor, artist, musician, writer and someone who has spent years looking for meaning and pursuing personal healing I am constantly in the process of looking for this thing called inspiration.  It is an endless search for an exciting idea or thought, image or sound that will help me to create work that feels authentic and satisfying to me.  I am endlessly seeking “a spark” to send me off in a direction that feels true.  I think Oprah calls this her “ah-ha” moment.

In my journey towards this “spark” I have discovered that there is a deep connection between the spiritual and the creative.  In order to be the MOST creative I can be (and therefore the most happy) I MUST be connected in some way to what I call “The Great Wah.”  I have found it everywhere and in everything.

I have decided to share with you my process.  Everything I have learned from and been healed and inspired by.  I feel that I can now share some of these ideas in a way that might really help you in YOUR process of self discovery and expression.  Where I cannot I am sure others can and so I am also sharing with you all kinds of books, artists, doctors, teachers and ideas that have taken me in a new and exciting direction.

Thank you for visiting, and please… enjoy!